good ol' walt...

I know I should be on my way home and watch the Fantasia-Diana Idol showdown on Star but I just can't bear the thought of having to "kupal" my way home. I hate driving in the Philippines. It drives me nuts. Besides, there's an early morning replay. And I know who's going to win anyway.

It's been so long since I've had the drive to write something about myself. I mean, after all, it IS a little self-indulgent don't you think? But a person's got to have an outlet somewhere, n'est pas?

So... sitting on my hiney, listening to Ben Folds Five (I love you, Ben! Please, PLEASE be straight and marry me!!!) I decided to read up on old Uncle Walt (Whitman not Disney, you fool) and came across this poem. Funny how I never discovered it before. He's a genius.

To A Stranger
(Walt Whitman)

Passing stranger! you do not know how longingly I look upon you,
You must be he I was seeking, or she I was seeking, (it comes to me
as of a dream,)
I have somewhere surely lived a life of joy with you,
All is recall'd as we flit by each other, fluid, affectionate,
chaste, matured,
You grew up with me, were a boy with me or a girl with me,
I ate with you and slept with you, your body has become not yours
only nor left my body mine only,
You give me the pleasure of your eyes, face, flesh, as we pass, you
take of my beard, breast, hands, in return,
I am not to speak to you, I am to think of you when I sit alone or
wake at night alone,
I am to wait, I do not doubt I am to meet you again,
I am to see to it that I do not lose you.

In one of my favorite movies, You've Got Mail, there's a scene where Meg Ryan's character breaks up with her boyfriend, Greg Kinnear, after they both realize they're just not "in love" with each other. So he asks her: "How about you? Is there someone else?" And you know what she says? It's probably one of my favorite lines (ever). She says "No, but there's the DREAM of someone." Awww... See? This is what I felt after reading this poem. After yesterday's fiasco of "What?!? No boyfriend? No one?! Why?!", more than ever I'm determined to stick to my I-won't-have-a-boyfriend-till-I'm-25 mandate. Mom, Dad, (and annoying brother Peej) can't you see I DON'T WANT ONE RIGHT NOW? So is there someone? No. But there's the dream of someone. And I can't wait to meet him. JUST NOT YET. :)